Ray Pizzi
.

Woodwinds, Concert Artist, Composer, Arranger, Educator
Box 8137   Van Nuys,  Ca.   91409      email: RPizzi2@aol.com
  Refresh  all pages ~ updated ~ FEB. 2010

 
(click to enlarge)

 

Index

  Home: scroll down for:  BIO,  Quotes, Quips,  Albums,  My Bassoon Audition, LA Scene, Discography, Poems,  

    page 2: click:  Ray Pizzi Music   Original Music for BASSOON Quintets,  Quartets,  Trios,  Duets  w/audio samples

    page 3: click:  Photos    Photographs of Some Very Special People, Moments and Memories

     page 4: click:   Ray Pizzi Art   Acrylics, Charcoal   and  "Saxual Fantasies" cartoon book

     page 5: click:    Ray Pizzi MP3    Rare  AUDIO Tracks ..... (including "The RONDELS" 1959-1964)

      page 6: click:  Ray Pizzi Videos   VIDEOS of Live and Recorded Performances on You-Tube

                                                               Original Artwork by Ray Pizzi (click on  images to enlarge)

   

                                                                                  RAY PIZZI - BIOGRAPHY

                                  "Ray Pizzi's harmonically sophisticated, introspective style on Saxes, Flute, Clarinet, Bassoon is the
                         highest level of communication. It's music music, combined with openness, clarity, simplicity, substance,
                         lyricism  and energy that always communicates with the listener. He is a true to life master of instrumenta
                         timbres and  sonic realism. Ray Pizzi will resonate in your ears with truth, wisdom and inspiration"
Tim Price

                                  Ray has enjoyed a long and fruitful career  in the music industry, working with such diverse artists as:
                         Dizzy Gillespie, Frank Zappa, Ravi Shankar, Henry Mancini,
(wrote "Piece for Jazz Bassoon and Orchestra" for Ray),
                         John Williams, Alan Silvestri, Quincy Jones, Jack Elliot, Lalo Schifrin, Sarah Vaughn, Nancy Wilson, Madonna,
                         James Brown, Clarke Terry,  Bob Florence, Louie Belson, Billy Higgins, Christopher Cross, Aretha Franklin,
                         Stevie Wonder, Chaka Kahn, Barbra Streisand, Bill Conti, Burt Bacharach, Bobby McFerrin, Horace Silver,
                         Joe Henderson, Lou Rawls, Willy Bobo, Michael Feinstein, Moacir Santos, Fred Myrow, David Foster,
                         Stephen Bishop, Alan Price, Woody Herman
etc. 

    
                              Including his own albums
(scroll down) , he  plays on numerous , Recordings, Movies, TV shows (scroll down)

                         His international concert\festival performances as a headliner include
: The Hollywood Bowl, L.A. Music Center,
                         Disney Concert Hall, Davies Symphony Hall, The Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, American Orchestra,
                         Rochester Symphony Orchestra and the Playboy, Monterey, Mobile and various European Jazz Festivals.


                                   
The 1984 Olympics saw figure skater Rosalyn Sumner performing her skating program to Rays rockin'
                        
sax solo on "We Go Together"
(from the movie, "Grease") winning her the silver medal.  
click: mp3 page (#21) 

    
                        As an actor, Ray starred in the leading role of the highly acclaimed, award winning film short
                         produced- directed by Marino Colmano, Lazlo Pappas.
 
click to view End of the Rainbow starring Ray Pizzi

                                  His outstanding level of musicianship and versatility, has garnered him many awards, including:
                        "Most Valuable Player Emeritus"(4 consecutive years) from NARAS"Musician of the Year" Jazz Podium Magazine, Germany.
                        "Talent Deserving of Wider Recognition"Downbeat Magazine,"Grammy nominations"  "Album of the Year"Hi-Fi Mag.
                        "Silver Microphone Award"Ad Music, "Jazz Pioneer Award"BMI, "John Phillip Sousa Award"Quincy High School, Bari Sax,
                        "Honorary Citizens Award"Mobile Alabama, is also included in both
Groves Music Dictionary and Encyclopedia of
                         Jazz.

    
                           Receiving a Bachelor of Music Education degree from Boston Conservatory and Berklee School of Music,
                         Ray successfully taught public school Junior High Band, Chorus and Classroom Music in Randolph
                         Massachusetts. (1964-69).  "A wonderfully memorable and personal growth period of my life, but I needed to
                         fulfill an urgent desire to play music professionally." In 1969, he moved to Los Angeles to realize his dream.
                         .......Those former students, still contact him to express their acknowledgment and gratitude..............
                        "the best gift a teacher can receive"

                                  Ray respectfully credits and thanks his most influential teachers: Simon Kovar, Irving Kams, Joe Viola,
                         Jim Progris, Jimmy Mosher, Herb Pomeroy, George Gaffney, Ivar O. Nelson and Albert Harris.
 
                                   He holds the highest regard and love for his bassoon teacher, Simon Kovar, "The Father of the Bassoon" 
                         who on his death bed, asked his wife Rose, to "call Ray Pizzi.....tell him no lesson today" and passed away.

                                    Still a dedicated music educator, Ray is often called upon to share his musical knowledge and vast
                         experience with music students throughout the world, recently celebrating 10 years as artist in residence
                         at the prestigious Henry Mancini Institute-UCLA, successfully teaching his unique method of improvisation
                         to hundreds of college level musicians.

                                   Another educational project that Ray is particularly proud is his involvement with Paul Astin and his 6th
                         grade classes at Topanga Elementary School, where the kids learn how to Compose, Play, Record CD's of their
                         own music. Proceeds of their records go to worthy worldwide causes. Check out the inspirational contributions
                         these kids have made  throughout the world  with their music.
click: 6th grade  Music Projects

   
                         Ray was also involved with various community outreach programs, performing (10 years) with the
                        "Jazz Adventure" assembly program throughout the LAUSD.

                                 As a composer, "Ray Pizzi is dedicated to bringing today's BASSOONISTS the awareness and experience
                         of  the various styles of music the versatile bassoon is so capable of rendering. "Original pieces, Written for the
                         Bassoon by a Bassoonist," run the gamut of
  modal jazz, be-bop, swing, salsa, bossa-nova, blues, bluegrass, etc.
                        
Fun to play, melodically expressive, whimsically soulful, honest musical statements. "An alternative resource
                        
for professional bassoonists, teachers, and students "
                         featuring various combinations of accompaniment and styles, including:
                        Solo Bassoon, Bassoon and Piano, Bassoon with Strings, Bassoon Quartets, Woodwind Duos,
                        Trios, Quintets and 2 play- along CD's for Bassoon
 click here: Ray Pizzi Music and Audio Samples



                                                   ØQuotes× 

RAY PIZZI is the EMBODIMENT of MUSICAL SOUL... JOY... VERSATILITY... INSPIRATION.
   .....Through his performing..... composing..... educating..... dedication..... has influenced generations of
musicians and music lovers. Thank You Mr. Pizzi
dizzip, YouTube

 
"
Ray Pizzi ..... The UNSUNG HERO of SOPRANO SAX .....
ORIGINALITY, MUSICALITY, STYLE and SOULFUL INSPIRATION."

Seentza Bonsorius, YouTube
 

"Ray Pizzi  turns his woodwind instruments into magic wands, bringing a sparkling
           quality of originality and freshness that peels away the familiar, enabling us to hear
the soul and the music with new ears."
 
 
Carl Snyder, Playboy Magazine

 
              
"Ray Pizzi,  a high level performer on sax, flute and bassoon has been a persistently
           adventurous voice, performing his characteristic blend of cutting edge imagination and
           melodically lighthearted  whimsy."
 

Don Heckman, L.A. Times


 ........."Ray Pizzi?.......... oooooh!......... Can he play !!!
 
Dizzy Gillespie, L.A. Times



"Ray Pizzi is like an actor doing Shakespeare and Neil Simon simultaneously. From soft textured ballads to blistering soliloquies, he gives his all to the music and the people  absolutely love it.
"
   
Johnny Jazz.com
 

"Ray Pizzi, who's repertoire of original compositions achieve melodic lyricism to
rhythmically  propulsive exuberance, receives "Musician of the Year" award."
 
Jazz Podium Magazine, Germany  
       

"Ray instantly wins the profound confidence of all ages, not only with his command of the
          music
,
but with the love, love, love he has for performing."
Diane Voltz-Ojai Music Festival

"Ray Pizzi is about Real, and from the Soul ...
What jazz should be and will always be with guys like Ray" Keep on Pizza man! 
Tim Price Tim Price Jazz.com  

One of the most important composers and musicians of this decade.
RAY PIZZI...The legend, one of the masters who tells a REAL story.
WHY???...... BECAUSE HE'S LIVED IT !!!!!!!

Tim Price
Tim Price Jazz.com
       

"If you are interested in musicianship, quality and something a bit unusual, listen to the   
           brilliantly crafted music of Ray Pizzi."
Melody Maker, England
 

"Ray Pizzi loves the Bassoon and loves Music and has done more than anyone in history
to promote the use of the Bassoon outside of its traditional "classical" role
"
Dr. Jon Beebe, International Double Reed Society
 

"Ray Pizzi's ingenious abilities as an improviser have always been first-rate. The passionate intensity of his solos, occasionally lightened by an irrepressible musical wit and an instantly identifiable sound underscore his utter individuality. "Don Heckman, L.A. Times


"A  real "THUMBS UP!" You can't find another saxophone player with a tone like Ray Pizzi, real thick, round and fat. You hope for the solos to be repeated over and over to listen to again and again. Ray has several albums released. Try to find the album- "Conception" You will be blown away by the power of the songs, very  avant garde,  yet melodious. A collector's treasure!"

Heng Fong, Amazon.com



"Ray Pizzi  continuously surprised us with his music.....engaging sense of humor and relaxed demeanor.....all connecting well with the audience and  adding to the success of the evening."
 
Harvey Barkan, L.A. Jazz Scene                               
 

"Ray Pizzi truly embodies the philosophy that an artist should have his head in the conservatory and his feet in the street. It's a privilege to call this extraordinarily soulful musician my friend."  
Tony Horowitz


"Ray Pizzi's playing is truly the epitome of expression"

Clifford Tetle, Woodwinds, Educator


"Ray, I thank you for passing on to me this great spirit of yours"
Violinist: Chern Hwei Fung

(Ray Pizzi sax soloist on Wagners Liebestod)
"A  jazz saxophone taking on one of the most sensuous melodies of the classical stage? It should be blasphemy, But, It soars, flies, transforms  the long-lost male lover for the soprano's swan song. A fusion of raw jazz and deepest classical, I can die happy now" 
Panda Mishima YouTube  (click to play)  Leibestod
 


ï
J   Quips   Jð
    
  
(Henry Mancini at RCA Studios)     
"Hey, Pizzi.......... What's your range on the bassoon?........... 3,000 yards???"


(Pizzi  masterclass)

"
What is most difficult about  playing the bassoon?"
   Pizzi replies: "Getting it past Customs Inspection"

(Conductor to Pizzi)
"Bassoon player... you are wearing a Hat... will you be able to see me conduct?"

Pizzi replies: "I am happy to remove my hat, maestro, but I play with my eyes closed anyway"

(Pizzi to a Conductor)

"Excuse me maestro.........Where was  I  when you cued me in?"


(A telephone call from Madonna)
.....
"Hello, Ray?..... this is Madonna"
     Pizzi replies:....."Madonna who?"

(Ray calls Mama Pizzi and excitedly announces)

"
MA !..... Dizzy Gillespie asked me to play in his band!!!"   
 
Mama Pizzi replies..... "Thatsa'  wondaful.......He's a Italian Boy???"
     
 

"Mr. Pizzi, will you play my son's  Bah Mitzvah?
     
Pizzi replies:  "Sorry......
"I have Anger Management Class that night ..... and they get really pissed off if I'm absent."

(Pizzi to a student)
"I am truly annoyed at how well you are sounding"

"I think colleges should give all young composers full scholarship along with a lifetime supply of ERASERS"
Ray Pizzi, International Double Reed Journal

(Pizzi on band uniforms)
            "Can we wear black suits instead?...... My tuxedo has been confiscated by "Greenpeace."


(Pizzi on electronic bassoon)

"I prefer to discover the inherent Timbres and Textures of the Bassoon with my Soul and Heart rather than a Foot Pedal"
Ray Pizzi, International Double Reed Journal


(Pizzi reviews a music critic)
"Another Malodorous Melange of Miasmic Mediocrity"

Maestro Pizzi,  Do you have some advice for female bassoon players?
 Pizzi replies:  Yes.....Dress sexy, but keep your knees together.


During a concert,
the Percussionist  drops his cowbell which noisily bounces on  the stage.
Pizzi quips..... "Sounds like Mad Cow Disease"


(Clarke Terry at the Grammy Awards) 
"Pizza Man!... Damn!... That was a nasty blues solo... I know you've worked in some toilets!
"


(Jack Sheldon announces)

"Now we'd like to feature Ray Pizzi... and see if his saxophone
           
survives another solo."


(Pizzi on procrastination)

"I have a tendency to procrastinate..........can we talk about this later?
"

(Pizzi on marijuana)
"YES..... the U.S. Government should legalize and tax it like cigarettes and booze. It would clear the national debt in 2 weeks, pay for our medical plans and no one would notice how big a dickhead Obama is."


(Pizzi, on the benefits of a higher education)
"What's  a 
Kiosk and  where's my  Stipend?"


"Mr. Pizzi, are you available to work a Polka-Party  next weekend?

               
  Pizzi replies:  "Nope, I'll be on the Witness-Protection-Program."


Pizzi  teaching the Blues Scale to a High School Band,
 when suddenly a student exclaims: 
           
"FINALLY !!!...... a scale I can USE !
"


(Ray Pizzi on Ravel's Bolero)

"That was a VERY SEXY performance of Ravel's Bolero......... I went to find my wife,
.......
but she, unfortunately, was listening to Stockhausen!"


(Marilyn Pizzi, wife)
"You are better than good......You are a
genius ......So tell me......
...... when are you going to get a
real  job ?"
Pizzi, no reply: ..
 

       to page 2  Ray Pizzi Music       page 3: Photos       page 4: Ray Pizzi Art       page 5: Ray Pizzi MP3 

          ØAlbums×
                                                                        
                  $16 each PayPal
                                                                                       
  ( free shipping )                                       
                        

                              Bassoon Anthology CD  featuring the Bassoon stylistics of Ray Pizzi (homeburned)

 

                                  Appassionato,  CD contains "Maddalena" (homeburned)

                                Conception  CD contains "Willow Creek" (homeburned)

                                  Loveletter  CD contains "Alicia" (homeburned)

                                 Espressivo  CD contains "Ode to a Toad" (homeburned)

                                 Wind Rider won "Musician of the Year Award" Germany (homeburned)

                                I Hear You  another rare European CD

                             Thumbs Up, live recording with  Carol Kaye  bass and Mitch Holder  guitar

                                Frank Marocco and Ray Pizzi CD (homeburned)

                                 Frank Marocco and Ray Pizzi CD (homeburned)

                                Frank Marocco and Ray Pizzi CD (homeburned)

to page 2  Ray Pizzi Music       page 3: Photos       page 4: Ray Pizzi Art       page 5: Ray Pizzi MP3 

 

    
                      
                        
                      

                   DISCOGRAPHY

      
DIZZY GILLESPIE, Dizzy's Party
       JOE HENDERSON, Canyon Lady, Milestone Years
       MOACIR SANTOS, Maestro, Saudade, Carnival
       DORI CAYMMI, Brazilian Serenata
       RAVI SHANKAR, Family and Friends, Bombay Jazz
       LOU RAWLS, Sings Sinatra
       NANCY WILSON, Love Ballads
       MICHAEL FEINSTEIN, Pure Imagination,
     Isn't It Romantic
       CASH McCALL, Cash Up Front
       CHRISTOPHER CROSS, Window
       STEVEN BISHOP, Careless
       DINAH SHORE, For the Good Times
       FEATHER, Mulege Day, Chenu Lips, Zanzibar
       ALAN PRICE, House of the Rising Sun
       WILLY BOBO, Tomorrow is Here
       PETER WELKER, Duke, Billy and Tadd

       OC SMITH, 
Love Changes
       MILCHO LEVIEV, Sad a Little Bit
       BOB FLORENCE, Westlake, Concerts by the Sea
       ROY WIEGAND,
Whatever Floats Your Bone
       MARTIN LUND
, El Super Blancos
       MARK LEVINE, 
Up Til' Now
       FRANK MAROCCO,
Jazz Accordian, The Trio,
       ALPHONSE MOUZON,
Man Incognito
       JOHN CHIODINI,
Weightless
       JOHN WOOD,
Inner Merge, 405 South
       MICHAEL DEES, 
One Single Rose
       RODNEY FRANKLIN,
You'll Never Know
       GLADYS KNIGHT,
Gladys Knight
       LA CARPOOL,
Linda Chicana
       YOKO SIKES,
You Don't Know Me
       JON PAUL BJARNASON,
Ice
       JELSA PALAO,  One for Carmen
==   MICHAEL BUBLE'  It's Time

 

     

                 

     MOTION PICTURE SOLOS


   
 
"Grease" Tenor Sax
    "Star Wars-Return of the Jedi"
     Cantina Scene, Bassoon
    "Rocky 3"  Tenor Sax
    "10" Soprano Sax
    "Back to the Future" Tenor Sax
    "Predator 2"  Bassoon and Hose-oon
    "Romancing the Stone" Alto Flute
    "Harry and Son" Bassoon
    "Leon's Case" Soprano Sax
    "Armed and Dangerous" Soprano Sax
    "Clean Slate" Clarinet,
    "Main Event" Tenor Sax
    "Dick Tracy" Tenor Sax
    "Breathless" Tenor Sax
    "American Anthem" Soprano Sax
    "Change" Soprano Sax
    "Mommie Dearest" Soprano Sax
    "The Great Mouse Detective" Bassoon
    "Sunset Blvd" Soprano Sax
    "Fandango" Bassoon
    "Eraser" Bassoon
    "Father of the Bride" Sax
    "Forrest Gump" Bassoon
    "The Great Mouse Detective" Bassoon
    "Grumpy Old Men" Bassoon
    "The Mexican" Bassoon
    "S.O.B." Sax
    "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" Sax
    "Summer Rental" Sax
    "Used Cars" Bassoon
    "Judge Dredd"  Sax

 

 

      
        TV SHOWS

   
     "Cagney and Lacey "
      
(theme, Alto Sax)
    "What's Happening"
     (theme, Soprano Sax)
    "The Little Mermaid" cartoon series, Bassoon
    "Fairy Tale Theatre"  Woodwinds
    "Roots" Bassoon
    "Dinah Shore Show" Woodwinds
    "Midnite Special" Baritone Sax
    "Knightrider" Woodwinds
    "CHiPs" Woodwinds
    "Taxi Cab Confessions" Soprano Sax
    "Mancini Generation" Woodwinds
    "Merv Griffin" Sax
    "Mike Douglas" Sax
    "NBC Tonight Show" Sax
    "Academy Awards" Woodwinds
    "Grammy Awards" Woodwinds
    "BET Awards" Baritone Sax
    "Wheel of Fortune" Alto Sax
    "American Dad" Bassoon
    "Family Guy" Bassoon
=

=

=

=

 

 

 

    ïJ  My Bassoon Audition~Practical Joke      Jð
VIDEO ..... "Ray Pizzi, Bassoon Audition"  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UkaC3GJrSo

The LOS ANGELES PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA announces auditions for a bassoon vacancy.
Bassoonists from all over the world will try out for this prestigious position.

The Auditions Committee consists of principal players from each section of the orchestra.
Woodwinds, Brass, Strings, and Conductor, Esa-Pekka Salonen will make
 the final choice as to who will win this coveted bassoon position.

Unknown to the Auditions Committee, except the regular bassoon section,

(
David Breidenthal, Alan Goodman, Patti Kindel), an unusual event is about to take place......
Ray Pizzi, jazz bassoonist, is surreptitiously invited to join the audition finals.
He will be the 75th audition the committee will have evaluated in the past 2 days.....
 ......listening to the same audition pieces, played over and over and over again.

With everyone in place, Ray Pizzi, dressed in black, wearing a wide brim black fedora
hat, walks out on stage, sits behind the music stand, nonchalantly looks through the
required
music excerpts, then arrogantly shoves the music stand aside.
The Auditions Committee gasps! Wow! he doesn't need the music? Very impressive!
Ray starts the audition with the difficult opening solo to Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring"
.....when suddenly, he launches into a  funky, bouncy, swamp blues

solo bassoon piece of his own, called  "Ode to a Toad."


As Ray continues to play, the Auditions Committee members start giggling,
......they've been had.....victims of a practical joke......
 .......except for one person......the Chairman of the Auditions Committee.....
 ........who jumps out of his front row seat, clipboard in hand, and attempts to stop Ray,
who is certainly NOT playing the required material!

Suddenly, the entire bassoon section jumps up and pushes him back into
his seat and is respectfully, yet forcibly, advised to shut up and listen!
 
 By this time, Ray is really huffing, puffing, stomping, building the intensity to the
big finish, the Committee is applauding,  laughing, howling, whistling, cheering.

Finally...... the last note...... a humongous low B flat......
So humongous, that it causes a large yellow rubber glove to fill with air and slowly 
emerge from the bell of his bassoon......defiantly displaying the middle digit finger!


With his elite audience in total hysterics, Ray, taking advantage of the situation,
slowly turns and flips this gigantic "bird" at the Chairman of the Auditions Committee,
who is now laughing and applauding wildly along with the rest of the audience......
.......On his final encore bow, Ray shouts out........"Did I get the gig???"



ïJ ØThe L.A. Scene× Jð
VIDEO: .....  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fVluU27nEk

Los Angeles is definitely where the action is.
If you're going to make this move, you want to aim for the music industry sector:
Movies, Recordings, Television, Ad Music, Road Bands etc.
Earning a living playing your instrument alongside the best in the world.
This is what the LA music scene has to offer.

Start saving your money now, so you won't have to work a day job.
Day jobs fuck with your spirit, talent and mostly......your commitment.
It is very important that you have the free time to meet people, hustle gigs,
practice, make auditions, rehearse etc. The Hollywood rule is:
"You need to make yourself available."
The jazz scene here, is barely inadequate. Lots of great players, minimal gigs for
    minimal money. Unfortunately, the majority of the general public listens to
music with their eyes, not their heart.


BUT.....YOU'LL LOVE LIVING IN LA......
The weather here is.....Sunshine.....Sunshine.....Sunshine!
Constantly-Boring...Relentlessly-Oppressive...Throat-Parching,
Melanoma-Provoking..........Retina-Frying.........Sunshine!
"BUT".....they say....."it's a comfortable dry heat"........

Yah right!  Especially if you're a friggin' LIZARD!!!

When it does Rain.....You can depend on your house cascading
down the side of a hill in a Torrential Flow of Liquefied Mud......
.....but that's not as bad as it seems, because now
you're living in a much nicer neighborhood and closer to the
"Health Food Organic Market\Bo-Tox Treatment Centre."

And the TRAFFIC.......Traffic like you've never seen before.......
SIG Alerts.....Amber Alerts.....Police Pursuits.....Construction Zones,
Executives in Mercedes speeding at 75 mph while reading the stock report.
Ladies in SUV's applying makeup in a  "radically skewed"  rear view mirror.....
Meanwhile, others cruise in a near Comatose-State listening to "Smooth Jazz Radio"
creating a multitudinous of middle-finger gestures and inciting full-blown civic road
rage. The traffic has become so heavy, it takes at least 45 minutes just to get to a
drive-by-shooting!

And then there's the stucco.....stucco.....everywhere you look.....stucco!
They don't use wood shingles here in LA.....nope.....they use stucco!
.....everywhere you look.....stucco!

If you are a smoker.....don't even bother coming here!
You will be Deemed a Deplorable Criminal.....
Banished Outdoors, Made to Smoke in the Blazing Sunshine and
Taxed for Everything the State can't find the funds for.

.....One of my favorite things in LA.....
is waking up in the morning.....to the sounds of birds COUGHING!!!
Here, in our beloved city, we don't like to breathe air we can't see!


Regional Recreational Activities You May Enjoy:
Fighting Wild Fires With Your Garden Hose,
Swimming in Toxic Beach Pollution,
Earthquake-Magnitude-Speculating,
Uninsured-Motorist-Roulette,
Extreme Tofu Parties,
Cosmetic Surgery Conjecturing,
Vehicle Checkpoint Circum-navigating,
Graffiti Removal.

With that being said...We all endure just about anything, to follow our special dream.
It is important that YOU CREATE every opportunity possible to live that dream.
Follow your heart.....don't settle for anything less.
©Ray Pizzi
 

              ïJ  Here's a Couple of My Poems for ya' Jð
                      
                        Your Days are Numbered
©Ray Pizzi

The date, the year and time of day,
  your ideal weight and what you really weigh.

Calories, fat grams and sodium counts
  MG units and serving amounts.

Home phone, work phone, cell phone, pager,
  fax phone, voice mail, (and one to place a wager).

Social Security and the dependents you claim,
  your license and passport (the pictures you shame)

Banking, checking, savings and pin,
  credit card due dates.....cash flow.....thin!

Stock market options, Dow Jones analyzer...
  Check with your broker.....or psychic advisor.

Zip Codes, Area Codes, Security Codes to punch in,
Flight  number, Gate number, That's MY seat your sitting in!

Speed limits, route numbers, octane price per liter,
  calculating precious minutes on the parking meter.

The floor level, the section, the aisle and space.....
  where you parked your car without leaving a trace.

Temperature readings, highs and lows,
  seasonal rainfall.....barometric woes.

Pollen counts, U.V. index, bacteria in the ocean.
 Aftershocks, Richter scales...estimating seismic motion.

PRESS 1 to speak English.....for Spanish press 2.....
  they forgot EBONICS, PIG LATIN and ANCIENT HEBREW!

Before days end.....I catch up on scores......
  Baseball, Football and Hockey encores.

The violent flare-ups and kicking of groins.....
  creates a "stir" deep in my loins.

.....So I dial 1-900-person to person,
  for descriptive scenes with lots of cursin'

The price is high for this kind of fun.....
  five bucks a minute.....(til' I'm done)
                         
Cheap talk ain't cheap.....so now I've begun........
  calling the girls at 911.

When I'm  tired, and I can't sleep, 
  I shut my eyes and digitize sheep.

If this doesn't work, I try to recall.....
  how many bottles of beer on the wall.


I hope your dreams won't be encumbered
  realizing how Your Days Are Numbered.

Get your rest.....sleep til' ten.....
  because tomorrow.....it starts all over again!
 

ïJ           My Truck  ©Ray Pizzi   Jð

My Truck......Used, Bruised and Abused.....
 .....Delivering Decades of Music, Memories,
 Family Destinations and Canine Thrills.....

 .....My Sanctuary from Metropolitan Mayhem
and Cosmopolitan Chaos.
Pure American Steel.....Scoffing at the Principles of
Aero-Dynamics, Sneering at the Age of Technological Plasticity,
Stretching the Envelope of Environmental Purity.Her Fading Orange Hue Still Illuminating the Darkest Recesses
Of Any Self-Parking-Facility.
The Roar of her Muffler, The Squeal of her Brakes,
Strikes Fear in the Hearts of those......"Upwardly-mobiles".....
 (who prefer the tenderness and accuracy of valet parking!)

My Truck.....Faithfully Serving a Quarter Century of
Security.....Dependability.....and Durability......
A Little Rust Around the Edges, A Trifle Off-Color,
With A Tendency Towards Noxious Emissions......
......Hmmmmm.....whadaya know........You ARE what you drive!
 VIDEO: .....   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsrODEjxfgQ 

 

ïJ  All material on this website © Ray Pizzi, WEBMASTER  Jð

 .... I  LOVE saying that: "WEBMASTER" ......Hey......Why Not?
It took me 6 grueling months of brutally torturous internet protocol, countless error beeps, hyper-linking, formatting, cutting, pasting, inserting, undoing, redoing, justifying, aligning, previewing, modifying, recalculating, configuring, spelling, positioning, saving, deleting, optimizing, tech-supporting, phone-menu-ing ????? .... Waiting....waiting....waiting....HATING the HORRID MUZAK-ing....
....Cursing, Cussing, Swearing, Agonizing, Scourging, Epitheting,
Damnating and Expletive-ating !!!!.... AAAAAAARGH!!!!

.... However....
Persistently Persevering, Painstakingly Progressing
  and Proudly Prevailing....
YAY!!!

..... Oh..... One more thing.....
My website is dedicated to my little IBM laptop....which I ....
(in a fit of raging frustration),
SLEDGE-HAMMERED!!!!

YUP....... with a 16 lb. forged steel, Sears and Roebuck,
low-tech, virus free, SLEDGE HAMMER!!!

WOW !!!

What a gloriously profound moment in the history of mankind!
Keys went flying in every direction as it lifelessly oozed
precious green fluid from it's pulverized  screen.....

..... THIS became a defining moment in my lifetime.....
..... a PRIMORDIAL RESURRECTION.....
 
I brought down the mastodon with a mere club.
Me...... Webmaster...... AAAAAAARGH!......
 Welcome to My Cave
!
VIDEO  "Ray Pizzi, Webmaster"  ..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEZeoM6Wz9U  

                      

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